Date Night

Family stuff   It's been over a week since Grammy Sue flew back to Boston and we all miss her bunches.  Especially little Cooper!  It was a great visit and we can't wait to see her and Grampy again in a few weeks.  While she was here she babysat Cooper for Jeff and I so we could have our first official "date night" since prior to my pregnancy, almost 11 months!  Well, if any of you know my husband you know that he likes to save, save, save.  And if you know me then you know that I am a horrible procrastinator.  So, the day of date night arrived and I still had no clue where I wanted to go.  I decided that since I was so indecisive and since Jeff likes to save, save, save I'd go online and try to find some restaurant coupons.  BOY did I hit the jackpot!!  Here it is folks, make sure you save this in your favorites!  Restaurant.com  I was amazed at the deals on this site!!!  Since I've never visited it before I'm not sure if this is the norm but they were selling gift certificates worth $25 for $10!!  AND they were offering an additional 70% off of that meaning you spend $3 and get a $25 gift certificate!!  If I sound like I'm super excited, it's because I am!!  We went to Popkin Tavern on Broad Street in the city.  It was our first time going there, the food was good, the atmosphere was good, we had a great night!  Here is a picture Grammy Sue took of us right before we left the house: 1st Date Night since baby

my journey, cont...  In my first blog entry I left off with my discussing interest in natural childbirth with my OB, I touched on how our beliefs seemed to be very different.  To give you a little more detail, when I shared my interest with her, she basically laughed.  Along with her smirk she added "just get the epidural, you'll enjoy your birth much more".  I'm not sure if she saw the astonishment in my face or not.  Neither Jeff or I said a word.  When we left I  remember telling Jeff that I wasn't too keen on staying with her throughout the rest of my pregnancy.  But I was really confused to be quite honest.  I mean she is my doctor, she knows what's best for me and my health, right?  After that visit I figured if I really wanted to have a natural childbirth that I was going to have to learn all the ins and outs of it on my own.  After weeks of research and praying and wondering and worrying - I got the answer I was looking for.  I had to call my OB for an unscheduled visit.  She was unavailable so I scheduled that day with the nurse practitioner.  I was examined and told I had an infection and given an antibiotic called Flagyl.  I was assured it was completely safe to take during pregnancy.  As with every medication I am given (pregnant or not) I went online to read about it.  I was shocked at what I learned.  Flagyl should only be used by pregnant women if all other courses of treatment have failed.  I hadn't had any other courses of treatment!  I called my OB's office back and asked to speak with my doctor, who was unavailable.  I was transferred to a nurse who did her best to answer my question but failed horribly...  I wanted to know just how bad my infection was?  Did they believe my infection was so bad that I had to take this antibiotic for the safety of my child?  Well what's even more shocking is what I was told: "we didn't test you for the infection, based on your complaints we decided to just treat you instead".  Are you kidding me!  My doctor's office, whom I completely trusted with my health and my unborn child's health didn't test me before they prescribed this strong antibiotic!?  Why did they think I wouldn't look into the medication?  Isn't that what you hear all the time from your doctors and pharmacists?  Take charge of your health, read product inserts, research!  Well I can only assume that they assumed I would take their word for it.  I did not.  Needless to say I did not take the medication.  I immediately started researching online.  I wanted to find someone I could talk to who shared the same beliefs, who could possibly offer me some sort of natural remedy for my so called infection.  Then my sister in law told me about a woman she went to nursing school with who was a doula, who also taught a birth class here in Richmond and who shared similar beliefs.  I looked up the class information online and contacted them immediately with my story and my questions.  I was very happy to speak to Melanie, one of the classes teachers,  that day.  I explained my situation with my infection and the prescribed medication, what I wanted with my birth and how confused I was at this point.  Melanie talked to me very candidly about my options and how I could ensure my birth outcome would be all I wanted it to be.  She even contacted a colleague of hers to give me some direction as to what natural remedies I could use to get better (that is if I even had an infection at all!)  I was still in the process of reading my book (The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Henci Goer) and learning about all of the side effects of the medications used by many hospitals and OB's.  I shared this with Melanie, she was extremely concerned that if I stayed with my OB, I might not have the birth outcome I was hoping for.  She gave me the names and telephone numbers of several local doulas and midwives.  She urged me to at least make an appointment with a midwife so I could determine if I should stay with my OB or switch providers.  SWITCH PROVIDERS??  I was terrified.  I was already half-way through my pregnancy, what if I switched and didn't like my new caregiver?  I had been with my OB for over 10 years, how could I possibly switch, especially right in the middle of my pregnancy?  I had so many different emotions, I was just torn.  I had initially hoped  that I could stay with my OB and have the natural childbirth that I wanted but knowing she didn't support me and after this incident, I was convinced, I that I couldn't trust her or her office!  This was my first child and I wanted a great natural birthing experience.  I knew that if I was going to at least have a chance at this great experience, I had to trust my provider.  I had to trust the hospital and the nurses.  How could I trust them after this?  So, I made an appointment with the midwives.  I spoke to Nicole, she was extremely caring and sincere.  She told me there were two midwives in her practice, herself and Leslie.  At my first appointment I saw Nicole.  I am not sure I could describe how incredibly amazing this visit was.  Nicole spent almost an hour in the exam room with Jeff and I.  She talked about everything we could possibly have had questions about.  She told us how her practice works, she explained my pregnancy to me, what I should be feeling at that time, what to expect in the weeks ahead, she explained natural childbirth and how she was going to help me have the best birth possible.  Mainly, she supported me.  She told me how strong I was.  She made me feel GOOD.    She made me feel CONFIDENT.  This was a complete 180 compared my visits with my OB.  Those visits usually lasted about 5 minutes.  The nurse weighed me, took my blood pressure, checked the baby's heart beat.  The OB walked in and said 'everything looks good, we'll see you in 2 weeks' and that was it.  Never did she offer any information to me.  I had to ask her question after question and even then I got short quick answers.  I was so absolutely convinced I had made the right decision.  It was LOVE.  I loved my midwives.  And best of all, I knew they loved me.

Stay tuned for more...  :)